Max loves fruit. He has pretty much eradicated everything else from his diet. It all started when he saw me eating a grapefruit. I don't think you are supposed to give babies grapefruit, but he was screaming for a bite so I gave him one. Then it started, the grapefruit hysteria. He started hyperventilating and furiously flapping his arms (this is his sign language for feed me faster). I cut up the whole grapefruit and put it on his tray, hoping to buy myself a couple minutes of peace and quiet. Nope, he finished the whole thing in a matter of seconds and started screaming for more. He ate the grapefruit with such fury and intensity that he was literally punching himself in the mouth with each bite he shoveled in. He didn't seem to notice that I was laughing. Two grapefruits later I cut him off. These were my grapefruits, and he was not getting the last one. Now I hide the grapefruit, and he only gets one a day.
Max also has an obsession with blueberries, bananas, mandarin oranges, and several other fruits. Everyday when I am sitting at the table feeding him fruit, this scene from Notting Hill plays in my mind:
Keziah: "No thanks, I'm a fruitarian."
Max: "I didn't realize that."
William: "And, ahm: what exactly is a fruitarian?"
Keziah: "We believe that fruits and vegetables have feeling so we think cooking is cruel. We only eat things that have actually fallen off a tree or bush - that are, in fact, dead already."
William: "Right. Right. Interesting stuff. So, these carrots..."
Keziah: "Have been murdered, yes."
William: "Murdered? Poor carrots. How beastly!"
I laugh out loud when I get to the part about the murdered carrots. I almost wet my pants in the theater during that scene because I was laughing so hard. Max starts screaming for more fruit and I pull myself out of my Notting Hill daydream. Did I get a fruitarian baby because I have mocked their movement? Please don't tell me this is bad kharma.
p.s. Here is a link about how to become a fruitarian, just in case you are interested. Yes they do exist.
6 comments:
That is so funny. I know I've said this a thousand times but I could read daily about Max's shenanigans. He is the funniest baby on the planet. I am so entertained by hearing about him.
I have only ever heard of a fruitarian on Notting Hill, it was the first thing I thought of when I read that. Too funny. I can't believe he likes grapefruit! Aren't they really sour/bitter?
That's great that he's eating healthy foods!
I remember that scene in Notting Hill very well. Thanks for including the dialogue. I laughed all over again.
Max is hilarious! I loved this post! Thanks for keeping me "in" on the whole Scoville loop thing. You're great!
Oh yes, the grapefruit I give him is bitter and unsweetened...that's what is so bizarre about the whole thing. I guess I should mention that he also likes pickles, green olives, and garlic...he hates veggies unless they are on pizza.
I need to meet Max. He sounds great!
Awwww, Max is so smart =)!
I wish I had been a fruitarian from birth lol, instead of waiting 18 years!
I'm proud of you for raising a healthy child! =)
Max will thank you when he grows up
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