I rarely get embarrassed. I can remember two specific times in my 30 years that I have been truly embarrassed. That's all.
This past month, feelings reminiscent of embarrassment have been abounding.
I am embarrassed that I have read the twilight series three times (the 2nd and 3rd time were during long road trips). I am more embarrassed that I have seen the movie four times. Yes, four.
I'm embarrassed to admit I had never read a Jane Austen book before 2009. After watching Pride and Prejudice three times over the holidays, I sent J-P to the store to buy me the 5 hour mini-series. Still unsatisfied, I thought long and hard about how I could get more details about the story when the thought FINALLY hit me--"oh yeah, there's totally a book". I took it off the shelf (yes I even own it) and read it in two days. I also read Sense and Sensibility and Emma in January, and started Mansfield Park yesterday. I am thoroughly addicted.
This is perhaps the worst account: My sister-in-law Sarah came over a couple weeks ago and told me (with marked enthusiasm) that the Cardinals were going to the Superbowl. My immediate thoughts were "Aren't the Cardinals a baseball team? Why is Sarah so excited? Who cares?" Trying to be polite, I replied "Oh. Was that like unexpected or something?" To which she replied that it was very unexpected. I didn't think about it again until I was walking through Walmart and there were pictures of the Cardinals everywhere. The whole store was bleeding red with Cardinals memorabilia. "Why are the Cardinals so popular here? I don't get it...oh, wait...that sign says 'Arizona Cardinals'. Oh. Whoops. I probably should have known that. That's embarrassing."
Even more embarrassing was that I shoplifted for the 127th time on my way out of the store. A gigantic rubbermaid storage bin. After loudly repeating "NO, THIS ISN'T A RETURN, I JUST FORGOT TO PAY FOR IT" to the hard-of-hearing walmart greeter, I finally made it past her to go pay. She started laughing hysterically as I lugged the giant thing back inside with two cranky toddlers in tow. "This is so not funny", I said under my breath as I passed her.
8 comments:
We forgot to pay for something the last time we were at Babies-R-Us. I went back in to pay for it and they looked at me like I was an idiot. I guess honesty is a lost cause these days.
I loved your stories, thanks for giving me a good laugh! I miss you!
Good grief. You don't have to be embarrassed by any of that stuff. Jane Austen deserves to be read and reread, that's for sure, but so does any other book that you really enjoy, including Twilight! I haven't read any Dickens (Tale of Two Cities in freshman high school English DOES NOT count!) and I was an English major, does that make you feel better? And I haven't seen Twilight yet, so if you are up for #5, let me know. I totally didn't know that Arizona even had a football team until they went to the playoffs (or whatever they call them) this year. As for old lady onlookers in stores, I had one stare at Clark like he was the plague when he kicked and screamed because he didn't want to get back into his stroller after a bathroom break (for me). When I joked, "Gee, do they ever grow out of it?" she said, "I sure hope so," as if to say, "He is the most terrible human being on this planet and I cannot believe I have to share space with him." I was devastated. I felt horrible about it. I don't want anyone (besides me!) to think my kid behaves poorly. So. I guess what I'm saying is, why are we so hard on ourselves? Is it because we know how much we don't really know? Do we really think we should know better? Why? Because we're educated women? Do we think we should be smarter than we are? Or better, or prettier, or less inclined to freak out under pressure? Or that we shouldn't ever forget anything EVER? Why???? I think I'm going to try harder to cut myself some slack, wanna join my club? Because really, we are pretty wonderful people and we have wonderful husbands and wonderful kids and life is pretty darn wonderful. Right?
you crack me up kim. good point.
oh, and i am definitely up for round 5 of twilight. we can get cheap tickets at costco. let me know.
I'm in, just name the day. Except for Thursday night this week, I'm free but I'll want to check with Jose...
Oh, you're killing me! I've seen Twilight 4 times as well and am NOT ashamed of it in the least! I so want to see it a fifth time! And I've read the series 3 times as well, except for Breaking Dawn which I couldn't get through a second time.
Oh man, have you seen this?
http://mormonhusbands.blogspot.com/2008/12/twentytwilight-highlights.html
Check it out. You'll die.
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