11 month update

Max is very mature for his age. He acts much more like a two-year-old than an 11-month-old. Want proof? Let’s pull out the list…Tantrums– check. Biting– check. Hair pulling– check. Breaking things– check. Only one nap a day– check. Pinching, scratching, hitting– check, check, check. I could go on.

Max is very quick and I can’t take my eyes off of him. Not even for a second. He is very accident prone (he gets this from his dad) and has an injury rate of about 2 per hour. He is covered in scratches, bruises, bumps, blisters, and other battle wounds. All of this occurs while I am watching him, so you can imagine what happens when I take my eyes off of him. A few days ago I turned around for two seconds to put a dish in the sink. In that time Max was able to open the only cabinet without a child lock, pull out a stack of glass bowls, shatter them, and put a piece of glass in his mouth before I could get to him. I was only two feet away. Just one day earlier we were shopping. I glanced away to survey the canned tomatoes, and when I turned around to check on him he had eaten the top two inches of the macaroni and cheese box I gave him to play with. Last night I put him in his playpen so I could attempt to cook dinner. When he didn’t throw his normal playpen tantrum, I was ecstatic. I started cooking as fast as I could. A few minutes passed, still no crying. I was suspicious so I went to check on him. He was happily devouring his brown nerf football. Half of it was gone. I started crying (hormones), my face turned red in fury, and I yelled at my baby for the first time. He started to laugh at me, revealing a mouth chuck full of brown Styrofoam.

On the positive side, Max is usually a very happy kid. He laughs and sings (see photo for visual) all day long. His favorite song goes like this: “laaaaaaaaaaa (pause for air) laaaaaaaaa (pause for air) laaaaaaaa….” Call me if you want to hear it, he does it on command and he loves to perform. More positive news: Max gave me the best Mother’s Day present ever. He finally preferred me over J-P! He literally pushed J-P away and wrapped his arms around me as we were putting him down for his nap. This was a huge deal because Max NEVER prefers me. Every morning I go into his room hoping to get some snuggle time and he immediately pushes me away, reaches for the door, and says “da, da, da.” I take him to our room and as soon as he sees J-P he starts flapping his arms, squealing, and dives out of my arms onto his dad.

J-P and I are doing well. I am a little worried because I still have not gained any weight (despite the daily box of Häagen-Dazs ice cream bars I am eating) and am thoroughly convinced that I have a parasite or intestinal worms. J-P’s workload has increased and he is now managing accounts in Phoenix, San Diego, L.A., Palm Springs, and San Francisco, which means we will never see him. We are excited to find out the gender of baby #2 in a few more weeks. Any predictions?

Morning Walk

Max is not an easy baby. He starts his day at 4:55 a.m. every morning. I usually let him cry for 5 minutes because it's against my personal code of ethics to wake up before 5:00 a.m. We've tried everything to get him to sleep longer. Nothing works. After my morning sickness started to dissipate and I re-entered the world of the living, we decided to take a daily family walk with our extra time in the morning. We walk along a canal behind our neighborhood so we don't have to deal with the noise of morning traffic. On the walk, J-P and I talk about our day. We argue about whether we should spray the weeds in our front yard or pull them, we speculate about the decline in the real estate market every time we walk past a for sale sign, and we discuss things that we want to buy. J-P tells me we "need" a fancy high-end bike trailer, I tell him that we "need" a chocolate brown distressed leather sectional from Restoration Hardware. In the end we both decide we "need" to save our money. Max babbles the whole time as if he were a real participant in the conversation.

Can you believe how bright the sun is at 6:00 in the morning?

My feet in better days...

My nickname in high school was "info". Not because I was smart, but because I new a lot of random, useless information. Still do. As a result, I am a very paranoid person. I couldn't enjoy girls camp because I knew that I could get a tick, that the tick might infect me with Lyme disease, and that it could paralyze me for life. Instead of frolicking through the woods like other 14-year-olds, I was walking around like a crazy person, spraying myself with repellent every 10 minutes. I'm surprised the fumes didn't kill me. When I lived in the Dominican Republic, I knew there were nasty parasites that would burrow through my feet if I went barefoot. I didn't let my bare feet touch the ground anywhere in that country for four months.

Pregnancy increases my paranoia. I'm a little more relaxed this time around, but I'm constantly bombarded by the subconscious retrieval of random pregnancy facts that are stored in a back corner of my brain. Right now phthalates prevent me from doing a lot of things. I'm waiting to paint my kitchen and my toenails until I'm more than half-way through my pregnancy because phthalates (chemical in plastics, cosmetics, paint, etc.) can cause birth defects, specifically in boys. The problem: I was the only person in church today with unpedicured feet. The only person. Everyone in Arizona has perfectly polished pedicure feet (with little painted flowers that I don't care for), and my white, unpolished feet were glowing. I'm ordering phthalate-free polish tomorrow! Nonetheless, it was a beautiful Mother's Day. I wanted to get a picture of Max and I on the first Mother's Day that I could officially celebrate. Here is a series of our failed attempts. I love how we both have half-way closed eyes on the last one.

Happy Mother's Day!!!!

Congratulations Tyler

...So when my parents told me that Dick Cheney would be speaking at Tyler's BYU graduation this April I was a little surprised. They got a letter telling them to be in their seats a few hours early and that protesting would not be allowed. Makes sense. I was very curious what Cheney would say to our young Mormon graduates and called my parents for a report later that day. He talked a little bit about second chances and life not turning out how you expect it to. He also mentioned that his wife's relatives came across the plains with the early pioneers of the church. Here is a shot of the secret service that my dad took outside the Mariott Center.


I haven't thought about it again until today. I was doing my daily perusal of blogs and I stumbled upon an article about an alternative BYU commencement ceremony featuring Ralph Nader and other questionable characters. It turned my stomach. I was in shock that BYU students would forgo the opportunity to be in the presence of President Hinkley and other church leaders that would deliver powerful, inspired messages just because Dick Cheney was going to be there too. Lame. I will never forgot the commencement ceremonies on the day of my graduation from BYU. The messages given by leaders of the church were amazingly powerful and inspiring and I still think about the things they said six years later. I'm sure they all missed out.

Can you see my house?

Living in one of the fastest growing cities in the country has it's perks. I live a reasonable driving distance away from every store I've ever wanted to go to (except H&M). They are building what is rumored to be the largest mall in the country just 2 miles from my house, and new and exciting restaurants keep popping up every week.

The downside of the growth--things are constantly changing. Sadly, we were kicked out of our ward last week. Ok, maybe boundary change would be a more appropriate term. Still, I feel like someone cut a piece of me off and I want it back! The worst part: we have to go back to 3 hour church. I guess we have been spoiled with our 2 1/2 hour time slot. I will not look forward to chasing Max around for an extra half hour every Sunday. Apparently the Gilbert/Queen Creek area is the fastest growing area in the history of the LDS church. They can't build churches fast enough. Seriously, where are all these people coming from?

Crabby Day

Max spent the morning crying and looking out the screen door at the pool, trying to figure a way to open it and get outside. I checked the temp and it was 80 degrees so I sent Max out to the pool with J-P for his first swim of the year. The pics didn't come out so well because it was so bright and he was shaded by his crab float.

Pregnancy Parasite?

I got in trouble at my doctor appointment. He said that I "really need to try and gain some weight." What? You mean you are not supposed to lose weight while you are pregnant? The morning sickness is now easing thanks to a wonderful thing called the second trimester. I went straight to Trader Joe's to pick up all my fatty favorites- quiche, trail mix, soy corn dogs, kefir, and dark chocolate (and a few healthier choices). I ate and ate all day long. The next morning I skipped to the scale to see how much I had gained and to my horror I had dropped another pound! Do I have a pregnancy parasite? Why is it that when I want to lose weight I gain, and when I want to gain I lose? I must have some super power that allows me to subconsciously manipulate my metabolism.

I'm loving...

My new crocs. I first spotted these mary jane crocs on my friend Rosie months ago, but I couldn't find them anywhere. I had tried the garden clog version on several times, but didn't like the way they made my feet look like Chinese boats. I bought these with our REI dividend to cheer myself up...I've been too nauseous, dizzy, and tired to leave the house for a couple months, so I've been trying to focus on simple pleasures like a new pair of crocs. They will be the perfect shoes for tired, swollen, pregnant feet. I love them and only take them off to sleep.


Other things to be happy about: our first garden harvest. These 3 mini tomatoes are the first victory after two years of trying. It is tricky to figure out the planting season here...the blazing Phoenix sun fries the life out of everything. Hopefully lots more will follow. I can also finally eat my favorite snack again. My sister-in-law Amie introduced us to this delectable delight last summer at her mountain-top wedding and I've been hooked ever since. These chips are fabulous!

feeling guilty...

...So I've been sick. Hence the hiatus from habitual blogging. I can't wait to eat normal food again, my diet of rye toast and canned peaches is getting old fast. I feel bad that I keep losing weight, and that my ribs are clearly visible; however, I feel even worse that I haven't taken any pictures of Max for the last 6 weeks (or more?). Poor kid has nothing to show for the 10th month of his life. I pulled out the camera today to get some shots, and it was almost impossible. I have about 50 shots of the back of his head as he is crawling away. I put him in his crib thinking it was the perfect solution, but he was jumping up and down so hard that most shots were blurry. One of the main things on my mind today: we need a new camera. And a minivan. And a fence around our pool. That's all.


Beep beep, watch out! Thanks grandma mac for the new toy.

10 month update

Hi Everyone,

My name is Max. My mom said I could write my 10 month update because she is too tired. I wear her out. I am just starting to learn my name, because my mom never uses it. She comes up with a new name for me every week. Lately she has been calling me stinky poopy, pooper scooper, and Mr. pooper. Mostly because I poop…a lot. She should call me Houdini because I can break free and crawl away from her every time she changes my poopy diaper. I just laugh and crawl faster when she starts chasing me. She takes a deep breath and slowly counts to 10 when I get poop everywhere. I think it’s a really strange time to teach me how to count.

Milk is gross. Let the baby cows drink it, I just drink water. I eat everything: paper, carpet fuzz, and anything else I can find on the floor. Food is pretty good too. I spend most of my day eating. When my mom doesn’t feed me fast enough I scream and flap my arms to tell her to speed it up. I love to feed myself. I also love to put food in my ears, my hair, and on the floor. Gravity is amazing.

I have a supersonic crawl that I use at my personal discretion, usually when my mom is trying to catch me. She is pretty slow, but still manages to catch me in time to intercept the dangerous object I am sticking in my mouth. She saves my life everyday. I love to climb stairs and the bookshelf. I also love to jump in my crib. If I practice enough I'll be able to jump out soon.

My mom has officially reached her pre-pregnancy weight. Her diet secret: morning sickness. She’s sick, I’m excited, and my dad is in shock. When my mom broke the news to my dad I overhead him say “Huh?, What?, Why didn’t you tell me this was going to happen?” My mom put my dad in charge of all the cooking (picking up take-out), and spends lots of time resting. I give her lots of hugs and kisses so she’ll feel better.

Love,

Max

p.s. updates to the blog and flickr coming as soon as my mom feels better…
p.s.s. baby’s estimated day of arrival: Nov. 3rd